Weed Wackin Hell

Weed cuttin time!

We all had to do something today that we all hate, especially in July when it's hot. The guys and me mostly like to stay inside the garage durin the hot summer months--not that it's so much cooler in there, but it's sure a lot cooler than being out in the hot sun like a damned construction worker. We all kinda feel like it's an occupational benefit to be able to lay around on the cool concrete floor messin with engines while other dudes are out there on the black top sweatin their nuts off. And if we really get up a sweat, we can go in the little air-conditioned office, kick up our boots, maybe take a little nap. Well today wasn't no such kind of day, I'm mean to tell you. It all started when muscle boy Toby come prancin into the place tellin me that the grass had to be cut TODAY! (Ya see, his aunt actually owns a bigger share of this garage than me--Yea, her and me had a little thing goin on, back in the day. That's all over now, and these days she sends in her muscle boy nephew to make sure I'm runnin the place right. Hell, that kid wouldn't know a Holly from a Weber, but his forearm's bigger around than my waist, so we all kinda say "yessir" whenever he pops in.) Well today the order was to cut the damn weeds out front of the shop. And wouldn't ya know, the fifteen year old kid that's supposed to be cutting it is on a two week vaction with Mommy and Daddy. Don't know when we'll see him again.

Wasn't nobody around today except Rod, Daryl, and me, and we could tell by the look in muscle boy's eye that we'd better get our asses out there right quick and mow that grass. Well, that's where the real fun begun. Even though it's a so called self propelled machine, that sucker is still hard as hell to push around. We all took turns takin it around the yard, and I'm tellin you after one time around I was pantin like a dog. Daryl was even worse--hell, he couldn't even make it around once--said he was gettin dizzy and it was too hard to push, that he wasn't hired to mow grass and he was takin it to the union. Trouble is he don't belong to no union. Maybe the ASE would listen to him complain, who knows. Anyhow, he laid down there by the cooler and coughed and slobered till he passed out. Rod did better than we did, even though he could barely push the damn thing. We didn't get the whole thing mowed, but what we did get mowed we owe it all to Rod. Our counter girl Kate come out and snapped a photo--don't we all look like a bunch of sorry assed runts! I'm tellin you, that kid better get back here soon cause I sure ain't going through this kind of hell again. Ain't none of us cut out for this kind of work--I don't know how these kids do it every day--hell, sometimes ya even see girls out mowin the grass. Well, they're just usin some kind of special mower with a good power assist on it, that's all.